No matter what your child's
talents, you can make them feel loved and consequently have
the power to accomplish anything they desire. This means
focusing on your communication and individual relationship with
your child, the verbal communication you use, the love you
demonstrate, the faith and responsibility you let them have, and
just being happy with the child no matter their likes and
dislikes, and whoever they are.
The way we think influences how we feel, our sense of worth and
our achievements. I am sure lots of us can recollect times when
we had a notion, like for instance, "I know I will let the side
down once again", and then, spot on to our word, we do just
that. So being accustomed to have positive thoughts rather than
negative can make all the difference to us achieving our goals,
and even while a child is good at something, they can achieve so
much more and even be the best, if they believe they are capable
of it.
So how can we promote such a belief in our child?
1. Our language is very powerful. Children respond
tremendously to positive praise when they do something good, but
equally as important is your willingness to overlook the stuff
they don't do so well. Make sure you look for, draw upon and
build upon, the best, rather than the weaknesses in your child.
2. Show your love to your kids, no matter how old they
are. As they reach teenage years, this is something we may
not do as frequently. You must let them know you love them - it
is your close, trusting and stable relationship with them that
is the strong foundation on which they can build, and
accomplish, anything in their great lives.
3. We have all met the full-on parent who pushes their child to
be good at heaps of things, to do their best in entirely
everything, and have high standards. It's best for children to
know, however, that they do not have to be good at absolutely
everything, and that they know their limits. A youngster who
feels they have to be something they're not, will feel dispirited
and not a success.
4. From an young age, encourage your child to be independent,
doing things for themselves, beginning with the smallest of
tasks like hanging their hat up, right up to running errands and
finding a job. Giving kids responsibility gives them authority
and the understanding that you consider them to be trustworthy
and responsible. If you are always heading from a position of
distrust and little confidence in their abilities, then they
will respond accordingly.
5. When a child wants to do something for them self, well let him
(within reasons of safety, of course). Unless you can find a
compelling explanation not to, always say 'yes' to their
eagerness and keenness in doing things for themselves. It shows
that you believe in your child and gives them the confidence to
try new things.
Have you noticed that when you are happy, other people smile at
you? It's because of the way you are feeling on the inside that
shows on the outside, even if you are not aware of it yourself.
What you feel on the inside is projected outwards from you. The
same as, in order to love others and give love, you must first
love yourself. Being happy and having a positive attitude and
self-esteem are more important than anything else because they
are the foundations on which we and our children can build in
order to do and achieve anything in our lives, for that reason
to be successful in profession, schooling or anything, we must
be able to build relationships with others.
So rather than worrying about what your child is able to achieve
or not achieve, concentrate on your communication and individual
relationship with your child. Children will always have their
strengths and weaknesses, be particularly gifted in certain
things, and confusingly awkward and slow in others. It doesn't
matter what their talents, you can make your child feel loved
and therefore capable in anything they desire to achieve. A
happy kid is a
healthy kid!
