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Three Kinds Of Love and Healthy Relationships |
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Written by Stephen Stavropoulos
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Among the most difficult things we do in life like raising
children, dating, and building a relationship for years, the
love relationship is the most difficult!
It seems like the most we can do as we start to experience the
first thrilling moments of love and romance is ride the torrent
and learn as we go.
Everything comes into play, including our total self image, our
degree of self knowledge, our ability to own our feelings, and
most of all our ability to communicate our feelings, our motives
and goals, and values system.
We don't know if we have a healthy relationship style, heck, we
don't even know what is going on....it's like a roller coaster
ride of passion at the beginning to "death valley" for romance,
sex, and the ability we had to enjoy each other without doing
anything.....just our presence was enough!
As we grow in experience and can observe each other and learn
each others' minds and hearts, there is a basic way to look at
the "3 types of Love" as we build our relationships, and we can
know if we are headed for certain disaster or a long healthy
relationship.
Eros
OK...This the easy one.....the Greek word 'Eros' means just what
it looks like.....Erotic fleshly sexual Love. It's the first
Love and the Hottest passion, it seems to start the relationship
as physical attraction drives behavior for a long time.
Not enough of this and we both are wounded, hurt to our core,
feeling unattractive and discouraged. Too much, and one partner
might feel that is all the other wants, and the relationship is
based on sex.
Filial
The Greek word for friend is Filos. Friendship love is actually
the best area for growth if it is real. A relationship with a
healthy filial love means thoughtfullness, courtesy,
kindness..... honest and supportive. There is a rapport on
common issues, and neither partner is demanding.....they are
actually thrilled to be with each other even if they are doing
nothing....
Too much filial love and not enough eros.....too much eros and
not enough filial Love......It's obvious that the two "tensions"
must be there......as we have various dimensions to our
selves......body, soul and spirit. Each one should feel Loved!
It all goes to how well you really know your partner by truly
listening and learning.....a result of caring !
Agape
This word means Divine Love. For humans it amounts to
sacrificial love. If the two previous Loves are present, they
will feed the highest form of Love we know as humans, and thats
Agape. (a-GA-pay)
This is the Love that bears the loss, the love that takes care
of an autistic child, and a disabled veteran when he returns
home. This the Love that bears the faults patiently, that
supports the Olympic athlete that goes out at 4AM every day and
trains before working all day. Selfishness has no part in this
Love!
Make Small Thoughtful Deposits Towards all 3 Loves!
These three Loves can and do carry us forward through years of
life......growing, learning, supporting, and Loving each other.
The main question will then be, how well do we observe and watch
our actions, motives, and core desires? How well can we learn to
feel responsible to take the time that each area gets our
attention during the whole relationship?
I'd say the whole basis of success in building healthy
relationships is growing up and communicating with each other
with the intention of learning and celebrating each other
lovingly through all our lives.
About the Author:
Stephen Stavropoulos is the owner of Home Workers Heaven and he
drives a blog named The Spartan Gold Internet Marketers Blog. He
has written motivational articles, written ads and testimonies,
and moderated forums for pay! His special attention is paid to
growing people skills including keeping his relationships
healthy at: Spartan Gold Blogspot
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