Author: Kate Lewis

I had no idea when I chose my daughter's name how appropriate it would be. It was a name that gave me inspiration at a time when things were very difficult for me: Hope!

Hope had a normal birth at home, which I opted for as I'd had my second child at home too. She appeared to be developing at the same pace as her two sisters except for needing help sitting up at 8 months but it was a minor thing in my mind. However, when she became seriously mobile at 15 months, things changed drastically. She didn't ever walk but ran everywhere and if there was an object in the way, she wouldn't see it, she'd just pick herself up off the floor afterwards and continue on. She appeared to feel no physical pain; her arms and legs were constantly bruised or cut to shreds and I'm sure people passing by saw a neglected child! One memory sticks in my mind of Tanya, Hope's sister, hobbling bare footed across some chunky gravel and Hope seizing the opportunity to play copycats. She raced over, also barefoot and mimicking her sister, stuck her arms out for balance and walked bow-legged behind her, looking just like a chimpanzee. She had no sensation in her feet at all; gravel, grass or carpet, Hope's feet couldn't tell the difference!

It wasn't long before I realised that Hope wasn't your average kid. She was more or less in a world of her own. She had to be watched constantly as she had no fear and was therefore unable to learn in the same manner as other children. A trip to the beach was a nightmare as in-between gulping handfuls of sand she'd be running into the sea. One horrible experience I will never forget happened on a holiday in Tunisia. I was sunning myself on the beach whilst watching Hope bobbing happily in the calm bay with her sister Jenny; both were wearing armbands, although Jenny didn't need them. Gaining confidence Jenny shouted over to me that she was going to take off her armbands. "No!" I screamed, scrambling to my feet and racing down towards the water but it was too late, as Hope instantly followed suit and sunk like a stone! I don't think I've ever run so fast in my life. I dragged her out of the water coughing and spluttering and within seconds, she was attempting to go back in!

She didn't sleep at night, instead she'd rock violently. In her cot and then in her bed, it made no difference where she slept, but that noise of her head hitting the wall rhythmically would eventually wake me up and I'd go in and lay her back down again, on average about 5 times a night. In the morning her room looked like a tornado had passed through it; every draw was pulled out and its contents strewn across the floor. Hope seemed distant from me, if I picked her up to cuddle her she would arch her back and wriggle free, she just didn't want to be touched or held. She avoided eye contact and what little speech she'd gained soon disappeared only to be replaced with grunts. I really felt that I was losing her. She had switched off.

My doctor had referred me to a paediatrician and his diagnosis was soul destroying but the most hurtful thing about it all, was the manner in which he spoke to me; it was all so matter of fact, as though it really didn't matter! He spoke of severe learning difficulties that would become more apparent as the years passed, adding that she'd lose the ability to communicate and that her violent outbursts would become more regular and obviously as she got bigger, more difficult to control. He said the long and short of it was that she'd end up institutionalised. I reeled from the shock, I was completely stunned and I walked around in a daze for nearly a week, feeling cold and desperately alone. I would pick Hope up and try to get her to look at me and prove that the doctor had been wrong but she would just struggle to break away and distance herself from life itself.

School was a disaster and a very stressful time for Hope, she was openly bullied in the classroom and was so dangerously clumsy in the playground that a dinner lady had to be assigned to look after her at break- times. She made little progress but every step seemed like a giant leap forward for me. I spent hours and hours going over simple words and numbers in the hope that something would stick; and it did! Little by little things started to sink in; often it was a case of one step forward and two steps back, but I never stopped doubting. She managed to read simple words, she could now count up to 13 in sequence and her speech started to develop once again, it was far from clear but it was progress, with a capital P!

Then one summer's evening she was playing hide and seek with the neighbours and it was her turn to seek; she hid her face in her hands and started counting, "1, 2, 5, 7", she paused "4, 8, 9, 10 coming!" A cold chill ran through my body and I was frozen to the spot for a moment. The next day I contacted her school and they confirmed that she seemed to be having trouble with her basic key words and numbers; she couldn't even recognise the letter H. As the days passed it also became evident that her memory had gone.

I was completely at a loss and didn't know which way to turn, when the phone rang and I found myself talking to the lady representing my area for the Dyspraxia Foundation. We chatted for quite a while and she told me that her reason for ringing was to inform me that there was going to be a seminar in my area about the importance of oils in diet. She went on to explain that both of her sons were dyspraxic and since taking omega 3 & 6 oils, the difference has been awe-inspiring. "I'll be there!" I said and smiled for the first time in ages.

I listened to everything that was said and thought as I always did, 'it's worth a try' especially as I'd now run out of options! I met up with the lady who'd rung at the seminar and was disappointed to hear that out of all the people she'd spent the time to ring; only two of us had shown up!

I asked her the name of the product she was using and she said that it was just a case of buying omega 3 & 6 oils in a chemist somewhere.

"No, I can't afford any mistakes; I want a product that works and if it's worked for you, then it could work for Hope. I'm desperate, please tell me!"

She looked at me and hesitated and then pointed out to me that she wasn't there to promote any product and didn't want me to think otherwise. "It's called Eye-Q." She said finally.

She gave me their email address and I sent off for the capsules. I started Hope on them straight away, (two, three times a day for three months) whilst still keeping to her organic diet. Ten weeks into the new regime, Hope walked up to my partner and asked,

"How old are you?"

We both looked at her bizarrely noticing that she really had changed and suddenly grown up, "42" he replied.
Hope counted, in sequence and stopped at 42 and the hairs stood up on the back of my neck and then the tears came. The light had finally been switched back on!

That was six years ago and since then Hope (now 12) has made fantastic progress, she now reads and writes and although we still travel life on an upward path, it's no longer a mountain. Hope's difficulties include dyspraxia, autistic spectrum disorder, communication disorder, and recently, epilepsy. They are but names; minor steps on her journey, for she is witty, argumentative and incredibly loving; and I am honoured that she chose me to walk the distance at her side!

I never ever gave up on her because I always had Hope..

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