Author: Kate Lewis
I had no idea when I chose my daughter's name how appropriate it would
be. It was a name that gave me inspiration at a time when
things were very difficult for me: Hope!
Hope had a normal birth at home, which I opted for as I'd had
my second child at home too. She appeared to be developing at
the same pace as her two sisters except for needing help sitting up at
8 months but it was a minor thing in my mind. However, when
she became seriously mobile at 15 months, things changed
drastically. She didn't ever walk but ran everywhere and if
there was an object in the way, she wouldn't see it, she'd just pick
herself up off the floor afterwards and continue on. She
appeared to feel no physical pain; her arms and legs were constantly
bruised or cut to shreds and I'm sure people passing by saw a neglected
child! One memory sticks in my mind of Tanya, Hope's sister,
hobbling bare footed across some chunky gravel and Hope seizing the
opportunity to play copycats. She raced over, also barefoot
and mimicking her sister, stuck her arms out for balance and walked
bow-legged behind her, looking just like a chimpanzee. She
had no sensation in her feet at all; gravel, grass or carpet, Hope's
feet couldn't tell the difference!
It wasn't long before I realised that Hope wasn't your
average kid. She was more or less in a world of her
own. She had to be watched constantly as she had no fear and
was therefore unable to learn in the same manner as other
children. A trip to the beach was a nightmare as in-between
gulping handfuls of sand she'd be running into the sea. One
horrible experience I will never forget happened on a holiday in
Tunisia. I was sunning myself on the beach whilst watching
Hope bobbing happily in the calm bay with her sister Jenny; both were
wearing armbands, although Jenny didn't need them. Gaining confidence
Jenny shouted over to me that she was going to take off her
armbands. "No!" I screamed, scrambling to my feet and racing
down towards the water but it was too late, as Hope instantly followed
suit and sunk like a stone! I don't think I've ever run so
fast in my life. I dragged her out of the water coughing and
spluttering and within seconds, she was attempting to go back in!
She didn't sleep at night, instead she'd rock
violently. In her cot and then in her bed, it made no
difference where she slept, but that noise of her head hitting the wall
rhythmically would eventually wake me up and I'd go in and lay her back
down again, on average about 5 times a night. In the morning
her room looked like a tornado had passed through it; every draw was
pulled out and its contents strewn across the floor. Hope
seemed distant from me, if I picked her up to cuddle her she would arch
her back and wriggle free, she just didn't want to be touched or
held. She avoided eye contact and what little speech she'd
gained soon disappeared only to be replaced with grunts. I
really felt that I was losing her. She had switched off.
My doctor had referred me to a paediatrician and his
diagnosis was soul destroying but the most hurtful thing about it all,
was the manner in which he spoke to me; it was all so matter of fact,
as though it really didn't matter! He spoke of severe
learning difficulties that would become more apparent as the years
passed, adding that she'd lose the ability to communicate and that her
violent outbursts would become more regular and obviously as she got
bigger, more difficult to control. He said the long and short
of it was that she'd end up institutionalised. I reeled from
the shock, I was completely stunned and I walked around in a daze for
nearly a week, feeling cold and desperately alone. I would
pick Hope up and try to get her to look at me and prove that the doctor
had been wrong but she would just struggle to break away and distance
herself from life itself.
School was a disaster and a very stressful time for Hope, she
was openly bullied in the classroom and was so dangerously clumsy in
the playground that a dinner lady had to be assigned to look after her
at break- times. She made little progress but every step
seemed like a giant leap forward for me. I spent hours and
hours going over simple words and numbers in the hope that something
would stick; and it did! Little by little things started to
sink in; often it was a case of one step forward and two steps back,
but I never stopped doubting. She managed to read simple
words, she could now count up to 13 in sequence and her speech started
to develop once again, it was far from clear but it was progress, with
a capital P!
Then one summer's evening she was playing hide and seek with
the neighbours and it was her turn to seek; she hid her face in her
hands and started counting, "1, 2, 5, 7", she paused "4, 8, 9, 10
coming!" A cold chill ran through my body and I was frozen to
the spot for a moment. The next day I contacted her school and they
confirmed that she seemed to be having trouble with her basic key words
and numbers; she couldn't even recognise the letter H. As the
days passed it also became evident that her memory had gone.
I was completely at a loss and didn't know which way to turn, when the
phone rang and I found myself talking to the lady representing my area
for the Dyspraxia Foundation. We chatted for quite a while
and she told me that her reason for ringing was to inform me that there
was going to be a seminar in my area about the importance of oils in
diet. She went on to explain that both of her sons were
dyspraxic and since taking omega 3 & 6 oils, the difference has
been awe-inspiring. "I'll be there!" I said and
smiled for the first time in ages.
I listened to everything that was said and thought as I
always did, 'it's worth a try' especially as I'd now run out of
options! I met up with the lady who'd rung at the seminar and
was disappointed to hear that out of all the people she'd spent the
time to ring; only two of us had shown up!
I asked her the name of the product she was using and she said that it
was just a case of buying omega 3 & 6 oils in a chemist
somewhere.
"No, I can't afford any mistakes; I want a product that works and if
it's worked for you, then it could work for Hope. I'm
desperate, please tell me!"
She looked at me and hesitated and then pointed out to me that she
wasn't there to promote any product and didn't want me to think
otherwise. "It's called Eye-Q." She said finally.
She gave me their email address and I sent off for the
capsules. I started Hope on them straight away, (two, three
times a day for three months) whilst still keeping to her organic
diet. Ten weeks into the new regime, Hope walked up to my
partner and asked,
"How old are you?"
We both looked at her bizarrely noticing that she really had changed
and suddenly grown up, "42" he replied.
Hope counted, in sequence and stopped at 42 and the hairs stood up on
the back of my neck and then the tears came. The light had
finally been switched back on!
That was six years ago and since then Hope (now 12) has made
fantastic progress, she now reads and writes and although we still
travel life on an upward path, it's no longer a mountain.
Hope's difficulties include dyspraxia, autistic spectrum disorder,
communication disorder, and recently, epilepsy. They are but names;
minor steps on her journey, for she is witty, argumentative and
incredibly loving; and I am honoured that she chose me to walk the
distance at her side!
I never ever gave up on her because I always had Hope..
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